even a lie couldnt bring you back to me

My Blueberry Night

like every year, i am blessed by your memory...
and like today waiting for the tomorrow to see you
with each raise of each tuesday and thursday sun
i still can remember my orphan blueberry night
i still can smell the taste of your coffee with "nestle"
i disliked then .. my whole presence still shiver
when i remember that look in your eyes,
i never knew what was hidden between the unspoken ..
i failed to read your signs, their signs
i still can feel the warmth of the sofa you made by your own hands carpenter
just like St. Joseph you said..
my only blueberry night i got, the sweet taste of nostalgia just like the taste of my only kiss
from your unsullied lips..
i still can remember that day eva shot you with her cell camera and you didnt like it, you were "over sensitive concerning images esp. images!"
but images are valuable dear the only thing left from you ..
i still can hear Chan singing The greatest , the melodies and the notes you admired and dedicated it to me
i still can see "rouge" "The film you should see, i dedicate you Rouge",
i still love the judge and his tears
On that night, i still remember our Orthencia for you, hope its still alive, at least in your heart..
I remember maya and the infinite phone calls she had that made you laugh , your red room , your beautiful red room with some soft red light , a little library and some pictures for philosophers and directors..
like every year, but this one is special, you're not here
you would wish me millions of happy birthday, "think of me much more", "spending three consecutive days celebrating" , "you and eva maria"... iloveyou , iloveyou , i even love your projection...
I do remember the chocolate cake you made in your parents house since you dont have an oven in your place only for us because we like chocolate, you served it with blueberry icecream and stared at me eating it...
i still blush til now ..
and my white artificial flower you took by surprise from my hand to smell it , disappointed to know it was made from tissue, but you touching my hand softly trembling all my being is what missed you, i felt the earth decaying down on me ..
even your touch could leave a mess...
thats my blueberry night, my jeremy and my song, it wasnt easy crossing to the other side of the street to soon return back sadly because my Jeremy never existed, maybe in 2046 maybe in Kar Wai's mind maybe in your imagination but fear was the strongest to take whats was willing to be mine , to be mine...
"the greatest''

The greatest

once i wanted to be the greatest

no wind or waterfall could stall me

and then came the rush of the flood

stars of night turned deep to dust
melt me down

into big black armor

leave no trace of grace

just in your honor

lower me down

to culprit south

make'em wash a space in town

for the leadand the dregs of my bed

i've been sleepinlower me down

pin me insecure the grounds

for the later parade

once i wanted to be the greatest

two fists of solid rock

with brains that could explain any feelin

lower me down

pin me in

secure the grounds

for the leadand the dregs of my bed

i've been sleepinfor the later parade

once i wanted to be the greatest

no wind or waterfall could stall me

and then came the rush of the flood

stars of night turned deep to dust

Razones

What a sad beautiful day it is
to meet your projection before my yellow eyes
and all those miles i ran to escape you
leaned, bowed exhausted to me
in front of your knife you held against me
and my pulse for you
i declared peace
and kissed you with my eyes
what a paranormal im living
fisting to be unleashed violently
expelled from your vaginea of me
no room for love in your red red red room
inside your blue blue blue bed
And i came here to learn what you taught me
to live in the most beautiful fraud in the world
to be "Cinema is a fantasy we cannot but live in"
Sleep my darling, sleep in your only memory of me,
and ill sing you a lullabie to close your eyes,
open them later on on d, d, d,
Death, honey, Death...

and you still here...

I griefed you within him

sunglasses away from me

sun and glasses

my intimacy got shy

raising blood to my eyes

quivering the air i cant smell

for lack of lacking.

blind glasses

corrupted my thoughts

to inflame my wound

again.

I would love to stay

but im in hurry

nothingness is waiting

for my presence.

Suddenly, i found her

surrended by holes

staring with no feeling

in the eye

judged by an addiction

that doesnt exist.

and then, my pupil

caressed slowly your

mind, your nerves, your me.

Langue muette

how long will i last before your pride
decides to break these bars of silence..
Im suffocating my love
immersed by the grace of your fears
and the final danger shant be death
im afraid ending up deathless
caught between sweet bitterness
living in a neighborhood where
void is my only neighbour
and some notes of melodies
to remind me of my constant
nonexistence
and always draw upon my empty face
a smile expensively paid for from mother
Cinema ...

larva

if you were a snail, would you walk on my bare
and imbibe all the heat on the back of my neck ?
and oh, how beautiful i will feel
If you were a snail, would you hide me in the darkness
of your shell and shower me with your holy saliva ?
and all the significant waters of the world will turn tasteless
If you were a snail, would you give the honor to sit
and watch you little piece of meat and coiled shell
taking the whole of my presence ?
would you?, little snail, haunts me body and soul like
a demon?
Im a fallen angel, little snail, begged God to get expelled
so i can rest in your slavery
i love you little snail, you have no eyes
at least not ones that can see...