My Blueberry Night

like every year, i am blessed by your memory...
and like today waiting for the tomorrow to see you
with each raise of each tuesday and thursday sun
i still can remember my orphan blueberry night
i still can smell the taste of your coffee with "nestle"
i disliked then .. my whole presence still shiver
when i remember that look in your eyes,
i never knew what was hidden between the unspoken ..
i failed to read your signs, their signs
i still can feel the warmth of the sofa you made by your own hands carpenter
just like St. Joseph you said..
my only blueberry night i got, the sweet taste of nostalgia just like the taste of my only kiss
from your unsullied lips..
i still can remember that day eva shot you with her cell camera and you didnt like it, you were "over sensitive concerning images esp. images!"
but images are valuable dear the only thing left from you ..
i still can hear Chan singing The greatest , the melodies and the notes you admired and dedicated it to me
i still can see "rouge" "The film you should see, i dedicate you Rouge",
i still love the judge and his tears
On that night, i still remember our Orthencia for you, hope its still alive, at least in your heart..
I remember maya and the infinite phone calls she had that made you laugh , your red room , your beautiful red room with some soft red light , a little library and some pictures for philosophers and directors..
like every year, but this one is special, you're not here
you would wish me millions of happy birthday, "think of me much more", "spending three consecutive days celebrating" , "you and eva maria"... iloveyou , iloveyou , i even love your projection...
I do remember the chocolate cake you made in your parents house since you dont have an oven in your place only for us because we like chocolate, you served it with blueberry icecream and stared at me eating it...
i still blush til now ..
and my white artificial flower you took by surprise from my hand to smell it , disappointed to know it was made from tissue, but you touching my hand softly trembling all my being is what missed you, i felt the earth decaying down on me ..
even your touch could leave a mess...
thats my blueberry night, my jeremy and my song, it wasnt easy crossing to the other side of the street to soon return back sadly because my Jeremy never existed, maybe in 2046 maybe in Kar Wai's mind maybe in your imagination but fear was the strongest to take whats was willing to be mine , to be mine...
"the greatest''