Langue muette

how long will i last before your pride
decides to break these bars of silence..
Im suffocating my love
immersed by the grace of your fears
and the final danger shant be death
im afraid ending up deathless
caught between sweet bitterness
living in a neighborhood where
void is my only neighbour
and some notes of melodies
to remind me of my constant
nonexistence
and always draw upon my empty face
a smile expensively paid for from mother
Cinema ...

larva

if you were a snail, would you walk on my bare
and imbibe all the heat on the back of my neck ?
and oh, how beautiful i will feel
If you were a snail, would you hide me in the darkness
of your shell and shower me with your holy saliva ?
and all the significant waters of the world will turn tasteless
If you were a snail, would you give the honor to sit
and watch you little piece of meat and coiled shell
taking the whole of my presence ?
would you?, little snail, haunts me body and soul like
a demon?
Im a fallen angel, little snail, begged God to get expelled
so i can rest in your slavery
i love you little snail, you have no eyes
at least not ones that can see...

Miscellaneous

Elderly Klamath woman photographed by Edward S. Curtis in 1924

i am only a widow
whose husband is still
alive
on a bed of gravel, i layed
jilted, dead, white widow
and my spouse is alive
still
and i become the ure of
Reliability theory
whole of me is motionless
but my tears
bitterly fed by your
Senescence
and each time my body
trembles of blackness
and nicotine
hoping to lose remembrance
i remember
that its a grace i was prevented
from
so i think of you
and the thought of you
makes me wet, the smell remains
relic in the locks of my hair
touching my mouth.. my lips.. my nose
half a human
fearless
careless
tempted by nothing, enjoying this nothingness
and that claustrophobia you enticed me to
whole of me
inside of me, inside of that little dark small red place
called heart
pumping stones not blood
and it hurt
the ring in my middle finger

old and yellow, ugly yellowness

and i sank , i sank i sank and you

watching me sinking and sinking

just watching

I wonder, where is your conscience

sleeping

then, i take a look only to find it

deep down in this ocean, next to me

laying scared, weak, quivering from cold.

Famous Blue Raincoat

Its four in the morning, the end of december
Im writing you now just to see if youre better
New york is cold, but I like where Im living
Theres music on clinton street all through the evening.

I hear that youre building your little house deep in the desert
Youre living for nothing now, I hope youre keeping some kind of record.

Yes, and jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that you planned to go clear
Did you ever go clear?

Ah, the last time we saw you you looked so much older
Your famous blue raincoat was torn at the shoulder
Youd been to the station to meet every train
And you came home without lili marlene

And you treated my woman to a flake of your life
And when she came back she was nobodys wife.

Well I see you there with the rose in your teeth
One more thin gypsy thief
Well I see janes awake --

She sends her regards.
And what can I tell you my brother, my killer
What can I possibly say?
I guess that I miss you, I guess I forgive you
Im glad you stood in my way.

If you ever come by here, for jane or for me
Your enemy is sleeping, and his woman is free.

Yes, and thanks, for the trouble you took from her eyes
I thought it was there for good so I never tried.

And jane came by with a lock of your hair
She said that you gave it to her
That night that you planned to go clear

and hushh...

and all these wrinkles covering your face

around your eyes, under your eyes

in your eyes..

you're hiding behind diaphanous dust

behind lost twenty years, are they eating you up inside?

piece by piece...?

did your rouge fade to blue or to white ? or now its just grey?

so i am what you made me now, you, how can i destroy you ?

and hell is just the echo

of god’ s angry words

What a surprise

The You I despised was nothing but another me inside

and i feel older than you do

crying out for her, what you call the cure

to purify my troubled soul

to feel youth encore, encore.

and thank you for having her on my side.

my miserable twenty years has just began

and oh, how lovely.. i started the first year

while she's laughing with two tears ..

The Day Ella Wore a Dress

My dear, dear, dear Ella ... The day you decided to wear the dress, I took it off, I had to,
for my knowledge that it was just a dream, and Moses is less then a millisecond in your long dream, in my long dream ...
and he said "miracles can only happen when believing in leading and right decisions", and in fact, it was the only option i had, so i re-turned back to fangfoss trying not be afraid from the light in the dark. My dear Ella, you and your beautiful peach yellow dress, you borrowed from Tori, delightedly given with melodies.
A woman's life, Ella's life, your life in one day, your whole life in just one day, a fate you become its master, a silence you decide to break and keep it later on..
My beautiful Ella, on which bed you will lay on ? Which mirror will reflect you before you look at ? Will you lose your head if it happened you were wrong ? Are u making a proffessional salad ?
Oh Ella, who are you ? where do you come from ?
Should I love the me in you ? should i see it ? should every page of your hours release this pressure of me ? and the icicle melts away ?
My lovely Ella, you wore a dress on a very usual day, it was monday, only monday... a magical dress you thought it would change your life, move you back to the city and its fancy lights where your happiness lies, your happiness lies...
Dear oh Dear, what happened to that dress you never wore again ? is it still covered with dirt and thrown on the ground ? are you clean now ? clean of every steam ?
What happens when I reach the last page ? Is it a happy ending ? Am i satisfied for Ella's begining? for seeing the drastic reality of me ?
she's not preaching though, nor am i, but i miss her cup of coffee, the sun on her face, the backyard, humming birds... but nothing burns the same ...
But when ill find Ella, when ill find Life, ill let you know
for now im just licking ideas,words, lyrics and glass
I did my best, it wasnt much
i couldnt feel, so i tried to touch
ive told you the truth, i didnt come to fool you
...