Dreaming awake

I drew your eyes
In the stars
Colored your face
With my tears
And sang your name
In my dreams

You are my lost land
My forbidden apple
I panted you
Dreams on the sand
And now I shall always
Live with fear
That the ocean
Smashes my dreams
In an moment when
I wouldn’t be near

Hand in cap

reticently,
pile of anguish
inhaling ur words
word by word
letter by letter
dancing on my nerves
declaring wars on my body
poor icicle me
deicers couldnt melt
motivated by an insolent boldness

living daily with their words
word by word
letter by letter
baptised with pity
bearing each day looks and eyes
glowing with scornful compassion
scratching the glass
breaking the i
the eye
.

wave goodbye to a lost ego
finger by finger
look by look
follow the rituals and obey the deity
floating through flying landscapes
second by second
one by one
alone.

because
adoring you
for me
was a religion

"im well aware of how it aches, and you still won't let me in"

..."i even kissed the lock of your door"...

DALIA

...and sadness fell in love with me, death took me by his warm arms, and melodies offered me its melancholy smiles, my misery cause is someone i dont know.
its not my fault if sky is unreachable , its not my problem if the sun is a liar.
but it became.
please, i beg you, stop these voices and question marks in my mind...
or finish what you started, finish me.
why did you turn me into a woman
to later on,
throw me alone
leave me oustide
like a child.
i said all the love words which i know and which i dont.
i wrote you all the grief poems painted on my heart
at nights, with lot of tears, lot of wandering, lot of smoke and wine.
you will never read them or hear them, you're too far, and im too close, you're too cold, and im too warm, you're too blue, and im too rouge.
brunette with charming beauty, a dancer with breathtaking eyes,
a student of theater stirred the man in you,
and a woman who broke your heart.
closing his doors in front of me.
...
and i still pray hoping St Joseph would hear my prayers.

One and a Half

would you be brave
and tell me that the
perfume on ur jacket
is not from ur friend's wife?

would you be brave
and tell me that this
is the scent of betrayal
i smell all over ur eyes?

would you be honorable
enough and not touching
me in the same way you
put your hands on her ?

what will ache you more
the hard slap on your face
or the resisting tears in my
eyes struggling not to fall ?

was it ur sexual weakness
that beated the power of ur love
or it was hard to live like one
so you became half a man ?

half feelings, half heart,
have me and have her
half me and half her
have to know that

No one is a half
u have it only in graves.

"beautiful fantasies"

...before in the old days when people had secrets they didnt want to share,

they'd climb a mountain and find a tree,

carve a hole in the tree and whisper the secret into the tree,

and cover the hole with mud,that way, no one would ever discover the secret.

but why secrets are for if they are not to be revealed?

i had no big secret,just expectations..

"fantasies" or "beautiful image" or love.

Candy Addict

My wine is black
like blood
Drink with me
And rise my toast
Fill my cup with needles
for like water it tastes
i would be drowning in the poisons of life
thats why im happy
Drink me, eat me, inject me
let me run in your veins,
and kiss ur fear away,
sense the sweet face of addiction
Sing me an eternal chant
crossing all boundaries
needs no conscientiousness
desire is no sin
and love is candy,
artificially sweet
The sky is blue
And my soul is mainden
My eyes gazing earnestly on your cross
I'll wait for you till i collapse
and my bones turns to ashes
I will love you where there will be no Gods,
no religions , no people
only snails.
Dont say anything
just lay me down
lay down on me
take me by ur magic
i always saw in ur eyes
enter me and enter all your burning flames into me
let me sweat till i get closer to you, to heavens..
to your angels and ur divine kingdom...
Let me sweat till every drop sway slow
stinging my skin so softly
mix my intense passion with yours
turn your body into mine
and make love to me all night
though and eventually,
love is just a candy
artificially sweet
...