My Hours

time forgot to heal her wounds,
even time forgets,
but not her.
I blame him not
he has so much to erase

time forgot about her,
she was stuck in a time she doesnt belong to
stuck between choices and hours.
between a dead life and life through death
I hail you Mrs Woolf, you got my eyes, my thoughts
and my feelings they didnt understood, Both.

Its no longer a feeling, its a prison
im reeking inside
secretly
alone
in the dark.

Oh dear! i forgot that love, loving you
with no bounds is a sin,
and im paying off now the price of my
Deaf
Blind
Mute being.

Forgive me Virginia for my urge desire
to kiss your lips and look to your eyes
but im bleeding for a reflection
im bleeding for a reflection

Every image is licking my infection
adding heat and salt, lot of them
extending unexpectedly to my veins
the smell lingers in my nose straight to my
lungs
filling them,
filling them,
with the smell of death
while life is still young

Forgive me Virginia, i've seen every me in you
i've tasted every needle and screamed with you
inhaled every sigh and walked every step,
Forgive me Virginia,
I had it all
But your courage
I had it all,
But your courage.

"goodbye little girl"

like 'Bess

all i can answer,
all i know,
is that my tongue is in love
with every single tear in
your eyes
your breath touching my skin
is more than enough reason
to stay alive
every move she made
every word she uttered
stabbed every memory
of you
in me
2 :30 am
a message i left you
a scene i could see :
your phone
vibrating in your red room
breaking the silence
of your world
that you decided i leave.
a bathroom
bare feet
and a mirror
and tears stinging my cheeks
like now as im writing you this
that was the world yesterday
for me
i cant wake up
the price is too high
and i cant afford diying
eventhough,
utterly aware,
someday
you'll be the death of me
death of me.
and nothing else left
but a song
that rip out my quiet boiling tears
and hold my eyes
never off of you
never off of you
as im willing to
breaking the waves
as reality
and not as a story
i choose to believe
too
like 'Bess

Dreaming awake

I drew your eyes
In the stars
Colored your face
With my tears
And sang your name
In my dreams

You are my lost land
My forbidden apple
I panted you
Dreams on the sand
And now I shall always
Live with fear
That the ocean
Smashes my dreams
In an moment when
I wouldn’t be near

Hand in cap

reticently,
pile of anguish
inhaling ur words
word by word
letter by letter
dancing on my nerves
declaring wars on my body
poor icicle me
deicers couldnt melt
motivated by an insolent boldness

living daily with their words
word by word
letter by letter
baptised with pity
bearing each day looks and eyes
glowing with scornful compassion
scratching the glass
breaking the i
the eye
.

wave goodbye to a lost ego
finger by finger
look by look
follow the rituals and obey the deity
floating through flying landscapes
second by second
one by one
alone.

because
adoring you
for me
was a religion

"im well aware of how it aches, and you still won't let me in"

..."i even kissed the lock of your door"...

DALIA

...and sadness fell in love with me, death took me by his warm arms, and melodies offered me its melancholy smiles, my misery cause is someone i dont know.
its not my fault if sky is unreachable , its not my problem if the sun is a liar.
but it became.
please, i beg you, stop these voices and question marks in my mind...
or finish what you started, finish me.
why did you turn me into a woman
to later on,
throw me alone
leave me oustide
like a child.
i said all the love words which i know and which i dont.
i wrote you all the grief poems painted on my heart
at nights, with lot of tears, lot of wandering, lot of smoke and wine.
you will never read them or hear them, you're too far, and im too close, you're too cold, and im too warm, you're too blue, and im too rouge.
brunette with charming beauty, a dancer with breathtaking eyes,
a student of theater stirred the man in you,
and a woman who broke your heart.
closing his doors in front of me.
...
and i still pray hoping St Joseph would hear my prayers.

One and a Half

would you be brave
and tell me that the
perfume on ur jacket
is not from ur friend's wife?

would you be brave
and tell me that this
is the scent of betrayal
i smell all over ur eyes?

would you be honorable
enough and not touching
me in the same way you
put your hands on her ?

what will ache you more
the hard slap on your face
or the resisting tears in my
eyes struggling not to fall ?

was it ur sexual weakness
that beated the power of ur love
or it was hard to live like one
so you became half a man ?

half feelings, half heart,
have me and have her
half me and half her
have to know that

No one is a half
u have it only in graves.

"beautiful fantasies"

...before in the old days when people had secrets they didnt want to share,

they'd climb a mountain and find a tree,

carve a hole in the tree and whisper the secret into the tree,

and cover the hole with mud,that way, no one would ever discover the secret.

but why secrets are for if they are not to be revealed?

i had no big secret,just expectations..

"fantasies" or "beautiful image" or love.

Candy Addict

My wine is black
like blood
Drink with me
And rise my toast
Fill my cup with needles
for like water it tastes
i would be drowning in the poisons of life
thats why im happy
Drink me, eat me, inject me
let me run in your veins,
and kiss ur fear away,
sense the sweet face of addiction
Sing me an eternal chant
crossing all boundaries
needs no conscientiousness
desire is no sin
and love is candy,
artificially sweet
The sky is blue
And my soul is mainden
My eyes gazing earnestly on your cross
I'll wait for you till i collapse
and my bones turns to ashes
I will love you where there will be no Gods,
no religions , no people
only snails.
Dont say anything
just lay me down
lay down on me
take me by ur magic
i always saw in ur eyes
enter me and enter all your burning flames into me
let me sweat till i get closer to you, to heavens..
to your angels and ur divine kingdom...
Let me sweat till every drop sway slow
stinging my skin so softly
mix my intense passion with yours
turn your body into mine
and make love to me all night
though and eventually,
love is just a candy
artificially sweet
...